Negotiating like a boss (or at least like a champ)

Negotiations are tough. Most of the people I know (myself included) find any sort of negotiation uncomfortable/unnecessary/difficult/scary - pick your word. Of course, almost no one is willing to acknowledge it, because acknowledgment itself implies that others likely took/take/will continue to take advantage of you. Negotiations take time, energy, and, by far the most difficult for me - articulation. Before I give my 20 cents of advice, let me preface by saying that I'm a very agreeable person by nature. I don't like to cause any discomfort or get into confrontations with others. It's easier for me to place myself into someone else's shoes, see the world through their perspective, play my own Devil's advocate, etc. Once, this excessive altruism cause me to willingly burn my feet, but that's a different story. All is to say, my agreeable altruistic friends - I get it. What I eventually came to realize, through a series of unpleasant interactions is that I should treat myself at least as good as others - a reverse of a common biblical proverb. If something causes you discomfort, or if you feel like some salesperson is talking over you with a thousand words per second speed - DO get frustrated, angry, tell them firmly to slow the fuck down. Ask for a paper and write things down, take as long as you need to review all the details of the offer. Think of yourself as your own backup buddy ensuring that none of those shenanigans cloud your mind. When they tell you to pay X, demand to pay only X/10. Be firm. Their goal is to fuck you, so realize that and act accordingly.

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Texas

Flying to Texas for a couple of days to help friend move! Mini vacation as well

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7 years

On this day 7 years ago, my family came to the US. Most people don't realize how awesome this country is. They point at its 'failures' not realizing what the word "failure" means on a global scale. "First world problems" are really 3rd order problems. You only start worrying about them once you have optimized your first and second orders. And any stem major knows that once you got the first 2, you put a big O(x^3) and call it a day. What is so different about US? Geographical location and resourceful land are certainly important, but more importantly, it is the philosophical foundation. Founders ran from authoritarianism and hoped that they could build a stable society without the need for a monarch. This is a really tough and counter-intuitive task. Stability without a fixed source of truth? Without a single person making the final decision? Damn! And somehow, they made it work. They achieved stability and prosperity by preventing the power from accumulating in anyone's hands. This is what I call "disrupting the industry". Radical. They have also challenged the notion of "Rules for Thee but not for Me" . Many of the people I've talked to commonly argue for elitism without realizing it. When I argue against the necessity of religion, I often hear "Well, Ramil, obviously you and I *since we are so smart* don't need to believe in medieval fairytales, but what about those less educated folk?" When I argue for the Libertarian universal basic income, "Well, Ramil, obviously you and I know best what to do with our money, but what about those poor folk? We can't just give them cash, we have to give them food stamps and housing vouchers, etc." place holder fo the third example that happened yesterday which escapes me . So what? Are they wrong? They aren't wrong in acknowledging that people are different, but they wrongly conclude that the problems of the differential treatment aren't more dangerous. Anyway, to Sunday! Maybe I'll finally make the video.

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Dear Reader

Apologies for not delivering the promised video. It will come. Eventually. Life's been stressful lately. Not sure what I mean exactly by 'lately' - a week, a month, 6 months, a year, several years? I'm in the middle of several storms, the resolution of each is going to influence greatly the rest of my life. Side projects and a positive smiling attitude are defensive mechanisms of some sort, I guess. I've been watching this TV show called Criminal Minds recently, thus I'm curious what my psychological profile would be right now. Not sure. In the last year I've adapted the role of a reliable person who can make final decisions. Partially, because I wanted to. Fueled by Peterson's message of taking on the responsibility. But mainly from necessity. Because people around me are under stress themselves. Uncertain just like I am. And you can't have everyone be uncertain, otherwise shit will spin out of control. Someone has to embody certainty - have all the right answers. Well, or to at least pretend to have them. In fact, an honest mind is a skeptical one. And while skepticism is extremely useful, it necessitates uncertainty. So all you can really do is to pretend. Uncertainty won't go away, but someone will have to handle it. Why am I saying all of this? To explain that I am deeply uncertain myself and yet I have to wear the mask for the psychological sake of my dear friends and family. They need to think that there is a person who has the map, in this fog we call Life. And this cartographer better hope that his maps will indeed lead forward.

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